Yes, I am well aware that I have not updated this blog in quite awhile, but most of the things I have to say would not have been to cheerful to read. I realize though I need to keep up with this because I find writing to be extremely healing and I'm not sure whether or not anybody reads this (besides my mom) but if you do, then all I am hoping is that you gain a little insight into my life and my beliefs and what makes me, me.
I am finishing up my first semester of my junior year and I can not help but wonder where the time has gone. Seems like just yesterday my mom was moving down here and I was having so many mixed emotions about coming back to school after my dad passed away. It seemed to me that there were far more important things to be doing at home and it was really hard to leave my family and friends who had been there to support me since day one and to come to a place where I wasnt sure whether people cared enough about me to care that my dad had died. On the other hand, I was excited to be living with Christian and ready to start a new chapter of my life. I can't say it was an easy semester though. Some days I just wanted to give up and sometimes I did. I went home WAY more than I usually do and some people may judge me for that, but never in my life have I needed home as much as I do now, so to those people who judge, I just say to them to shove it and let me be :) I've missed my mom more than I have ever missed her since being away from college. Its hard being away from the only parent I have left now. I've missed John a lot too. He has been there for since the moment I told him what happened and I couldnt be more amazed. It would have been easy for him to give up on me, but he didnt and I cant express what that means to me. While I am without these important people in my life, I now have a special friend in my life who I do not know what I would do without: Christian. She has been there for me at every moment I felt week during this semester. Without her, I would have been so lost. I certainly would have had a much more difficult time getting through the semester as well. Christian - dont know if you will read this, but I love you so much and thank you from the bottom of my heart for being my friend. So anyways, as I was saying before I got on this rant, the semester is wrapping up and I am definitely looking forward to a break. I'm excited to spend time with my mom, John, Reagan, my aunt, Erin, Brooke & Kristen, Amanda, and even JUSTINE! Much needed friend time is in my future :) I'm also looking forward to Christmas and even though my daddy will be absent this year, I am going to try to make the best of it. I know I will shed tears, but who can blame me? The number one man in my life is gone and will never be replaced. I know he is a better place though and I only wish peace for him.
I'm going to try to keep up with this blog better and possibly update the layout so stay tuned :)
Oh, and for those of you who are worried about me, please dont be. I am going to be okay. I'm a fighter and I always have been.
"So many people are looking to me to be strong and to fight, but I'm just surviving and I may be weak, but I'm never defeated, and I'll keep believing in clouds with that sweet silver lining" -Kate Voegele
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